This past week has been... difficult... It feels as if I barely got to spend any time with my Love. I miss her soo very much... The days seemed to pass by so slowly. I attempted to use the time apart to see some friends on multiple occasions. Yet every time I did, my mind always wandered back to her...

On Saturday I had to attend a Defensive Driving class, got a speeding ticket... after that I headed over to Joels for a few hours. It's always nice to hang out with Joel. We played some X-box and talked about our work in progress... and it was fun... but I missed my Love soo very much... I had the choice to go home to her or head over to Joels.. On any other occasion I would have chosen her without hesitation.. But I had ditched Joel twice that week. I couldn't bring myself to do it a 3rd time.

She always tells me "Do what you want to do, don't feel like you HAVE to stay here with me" and that's what I've always done. I've always stayed with her, because I wanted to. Not because I felt like I had to. Saturday seemed to be reversed... It's not that I wanted to go over to Joels. I always enjoy spending time with him. But, what I really wanted to do, was turn around and go straight home to my Love... I felt like I had to spend time with Joel... He's my best friend. Even though I was with a friend instead of with her, and even though we had a lot of fun. I thought about her the whole time...

I had a lot of people over on Sunday for the Superbowl. We had an awesome time, for the most part. Unfortunately, only one or two people were actually interested in the game itself. Joel and I ended up going back into my game room to play some Fallout 3, he played it on his X-box and I played it on the PC. It was kind of funny to see how each other handle different situations. Everyone else played various games on my Wii during half time and such. But the most hilarious thing happened.

Someone hacked NBC, I'm not sure if it was local or not, but someone totally spliced in a porno clip right after the Cardinals scored their last touch down in the 4th quarter. Some guy dropped his pants and shook his junk in front of this girls face. It was, HILARIOUS.

My Love has been worried about some things lately... Things that she has the right to be worried about. But our conversations about them haven't exactly been the most pleasant.. We never argued or fought. Nothing hostile. It just made both of us... really sad.

I hope that I'll be able to make this relationship work. I'm worried that I wont be able to make her happy or be there for her when she really needs me... I really am trying my best... I really do love her with all of my heart...